My 2 1/2 Hour Vacation

I took a 2 1/2 hour vacation today.  Alone.  And it was lovely.

This may not seem very notable, but let me assure you, it is – for a couple reasons.

First, I can’t remember the last time I did such a thing.  Yes, I go to the grocery store alone or an occasional errand, but for the most part – especially during the summer – someone is always with me.  And not only is someone always with me, but whatever it is we’re doing is for that person.  Taxiing back and forth to practices, rehearsals, the dentist, the orthodontist, the doctor … I could go on but I won’t.  While none of these alone drives me crazy, the steady, seemingly never ending list sometimes has the potential to drive me over the edge.

So what’s a mom to do when she feels like she’s living everyone else’s life but her own?  She gets away, right?  Let me assure you, the thought has crossed my mind.  I’ve researched all kinds of retreats and getaways.  They all, however, seem to come back to the same limitations – time and money.  Oh – and the fact that I’m not a huge fan of traveling.  I love being in new places, but getting ready and getting there often leave me deciding that staying home is a better option.  (Let me say here, my husband is more than supportive of me taking a little vacation.  It’s usually my own “inner voice” that shuts it down before it happens.)

The fact remains, though, that I still feel the need to have a little alone time.  Go somewhere of MY choosing, do what I want to do there, for as long as I want to do it, and leave when I’m ready.  So as I was driving home from church, I had an idea.  The art museum.  Yes, I could go to the art museum.  I’m not on call to take anyone anywhere for the afternoon.  Robert would be home.  And the best part?  It’s free on Sundays.  I brought it up to Robert and he immediately knew what his answer should be.  He’s a smart guy.  When I told my girls good-bye they asked where I was going.  When I told them they said, “Alone?  Without me?”  And as hard as it was to say, my answer was, “Yes.  Alone.  By myself.”  A smile and a kiss and I was out the door.

Let me tell you there was still that little voice that tried to talk me out of it.  Somehow even an afternoon seemed selfish.  But once I was in the car I was positively giddy.  I couldn’t wait to get there and walk around experiencing the artwork and taking pictures.  (Yes, contrary to what the older gentleman next to me in the first gallery asked his wife,  you can take pictures in a museum.  At least this one.  As long as you don’t use a flash.)

Here are some of my favorites …

This was part of an outdoor Alice in Wonderland chess set.

So was this. I'm crazy for the crazy look in this cat's eyes.

A display of American coverlets

I fell in love with this little girl. Her name is Lady Gertrude Fitzpatrick and the painting is called "Collina" by Sir Joshua Reynolds.

There was an exhibit of works by a Columbus artist named Aminah. These all represent different spirituals.

Amazing Grace

Another piece by Aminah

"Endeavor" by Lino Tagliapietra

Dale Chihuly ... love love love.

Glass and stone

More Chihuly

And some more ... did I mention I love his work?

As I was driving home, I realized how glad I was I took the time for an afternoon to myself.  And how less traumatic it was on everyone than I thought it would be.  Maybe I don’t need to go away and spend a weekend or a week alone (mind you, I’m not taking that off the table – it just doesn’t seem quite so urgent.)  Maybe a few hours every couple of weeks would do wonders for me.  Maybe it would do wonders for my family.  Because as hard as it is to admit sometimes, my mother’s example of giving every minute of every day to every one else may not be the best example for me to live by.

Sometimes … once in a while … a person needs to be herself.  For herself.  And no one else.

And when she does, she may even start to feel a little like Julius Caesar …

I went where I wanted to go.  I saw what I wanted to see.  I read everything I wanted to read.  For as long as I wanted to stand there.

Then I had ice cream.

It was quite a lovely day.

~mwe

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Double Take

I have a few ideas percolating around in my head, at least one I’m procrastinating on, but none to put to paper (or computer, as the case may be.)  So I’ve decided to take the slacker approach to a blog post – go back and look at some previous ones.  I haven’t been blogging for very long at all compared to some, but with over 100 posts I at least have a feel for what people have read and what they haven’t.  Sometimes big bloggers post their most popular posts – but I thought, why do that?  If they are the most popular, most people have read them.

So I’m going to go against the grain and share with you 4 posts that I wish more people would read.  They were all written before most people subscribed to my blog, so they are near the bottom of the pile (reader-wise), but I think they are worth giving another try.  As I picked these, I noticed they represent four facets of my life – parent, musician, educator, and Christian.

Parent – Fish Wisdom (23 views)

Musician – Music alone shall live – Or will it? ( 31 views)

Educator- Questions that count (41 views)

Christian – So what am I? Worthless dust or a priceless miracle? (34 views)

I hope you’ll take a minute and check them out.  I think they’re worth a read.

~mwe

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Listening to my Own Advice

A few weeks ago my daughter came to me because she was upset.  She felt like she was always being nice and trying to make someone happy but this person was never nice to her.  After agreeing with her that this was frustrating, I gave her this piece of advice: It’s wonderful to be nice and try to make people happy, but only do it because you want to – not because you expect something in return.

I don’t know how much that little nugget sank into her head since then.  After all, when you’re 12 you don’t really run and write down the wisdom that drips from your parent’s mouth.

It did, however, start to sink into mine.  Or should I say it keeps creeping up.

You see, there are a couple of people in my life who I’ve recently found myself thinking the same thing.  Without going into details, let’s just say I’ve done the grown-up version of, “Hi, I’m Mindy – want to be friends?”  Since they publicly look like they are warm and friendly, I expected to hear, “Sure! Let’s hang out!” (Or some sort of grown-up equivalent.)  But I got nothing.  N-O-T-H-I-N-G.  (I know people can be different in groups and individually and that some are more comfortable in one setting.  But I know these people stay “on” for a select few and go noticeably “off” at other times. I can respect the need to turn off.  But that’s another discussion for another day.  You’ll see that I’m actually more interested in convicting myself than others as I go on.)

This bugs me.  It probably bugs me most because it gets those pesky insecurities going.  Am I not nice enough? Funny enough?  Engaging enough?  Pretty enough?  If you have that voice in your head, you know how it can keep going.  After going down this road a few time, I found myself saying, “Fine.  I’m done trying to be nice.  If I’m not going to get anything back, why bother?”

AHEM.  It’s wonderful to be nice and try to make people happy, but only do it because you want to –  not because you expect something in return.  Um … yeah.  I guess that whole “love one another thing” didn’t quite sink all the way in yet either.

So now I’m trying to find where the line is between loving one another and being a door mat.  I think I’ve learned to not be a door mat, but I wonder how much you love without getting anything in return.  At what point do you move on?  Or do you just keep loving?  Or love in a different way?

What do you think?

~mwe

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Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to every dad and everyone who is like a dad to someone – especially the most important father in my life, my girls’ Daddy and my wonderful husband.

In honor of the day, I’m sharing 3 links to posts I wrote about my dad last month.  If your dad is here to celebrate today, give him an extra tight hug.

Remembering My Dad

A Letter from my Dad

One More Day

~mwe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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… and I’m ok with that.

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to change things about myself.  Some of the things I didn’t particularly like.  Some of the things I didn’t really care about, but others seemed to not like them.  Some of the things I knew I’d be better off having changed.  Some of the things I couldn’t really see the point of changing.

I’ve learned that when I look at things in my life, I need to ask myself how motivated I am to change them.  If the answer is, “Not very,” then maybe it’s not necessary.

After 42 years, I’m starting to come to the conclusion that some of the things I’m not interested in changing are just me … and I’m ok with that.

This little epiphany comes as we enter the summer months.  There are a lot of things to love about summer – fewer hectic schedules, sleeping in, staying up late, vacations, days at the pool, lightening bugs, warm evenings, ice cream … I’m sure you can add your own.

The thing is, summer is not my favorite time of the year.  Why you ask?  Because I’m a person who does best with a schedule.  I don’t always like having a schedule, but I function much better with one.  Days and days on end with no particular plans drive me crazy.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I, alone, could handle days and days with no particular schedule – I would find plenty of things to do. Add children to the mix, however, and I start to pull my hair out.  Mind you, I’m not talking anything regimented – I just mean that each day needs to have a few highlights.  When my girls were little, this seemed pretty easy – the library, the park, lunch, naps, a game or two – then the days was over and it was time for the bedtime routine.

These days, there are plenty of days that I spend taxiing kids from one activity to another.  But usually there are a few weeks of nothing – which could be great – except for the “What are we going to do today??” questions.  That’s when I scour the newspaper and websites for things to do locally.  Rarely, though, can I find things they both agree upon – or that don’t cost an arm and a leg.  And eventually I find myself looking forward to the start of school and the return of schedules.  Don’t get me wrong – I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them – I just need a tiny bit of structure to keep things from melting into a puddle in the summer sun.

Sometimes I feel bad for not enjoying summer as much as I think I should.  But now I just know – there are parts of summer that are great – it’s just not my favorite time of year … and I’m ok with that.

How about you?  Are there things that you tried to change for a while but have accepted as part of you?

~mwe

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The Body of Christ

Our youngest daughter, Rachael, was confirmed on Sunday.  For those of you who may be from traditions that don’t do this, confirmation (according to the United Methodist Church) is “the decision a person makes to respond to God’s grace with intentional commitment, publicly reaffirming his or her baptismal vows before the congregation.”  As her parents, we baptized Rachael when she was about six weeks old.  Sunday, she took the vows herself.

When children are baptized in our church, the entire church says that they will help to raise and guide that child.  It is sometimes easy to forget how many people contribute to our child’s development – spiritual and otherwise.  But on Sunday, Rachael kneeled while person after person in our church family prayed over her.  Most of their prayers were silent, but I’m sure they offered blessings and called on the Lord to guide her.  I was once again reminded that my husband and I are not in this alone.  Rachael is being prayed for by people we don’t even know.  Does this offer assurance that she’ll never have pain and sorrow or make bad decisions?  Certainly not.  But I hope it means that she knows she is loved.  Even beyond the walls of our home.  And that she is a part of the Body of Christ.  A Body that tends to itself in order to better serve the world.

Rachael is a blessing to our family.  I’m proud of the young woman she is becoming.  And I am so thankful for those who have a hand in forming her into the person she is becoming.

~mwe

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Rolling Home

Emily arrived home from Alabama Sunday night at 11:00.  There was an enormous crowed gathered to welcome all the students and chaperones home, including more media coverage.

The crowd gathered to welcome them home

Parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and supportive church members cheered and clapped as the vans drove through the human tunnel.  This mom had tears streaming down her face.  (True, it doesn’t take much to get me started crying, but this was a biggie.)  Emily even said they were so overwhelmed with the crowd that they were close to crying, too.

Rachael (right) was SO excited to have her sister home

Ok, that caption isn’t totally true, but she was definitely proud of Emily and glad to have her home – in that special way only little sisters can.

Of course, one of the first things Emily did when she got home was update her status on Facebook.  This is what she wrote:

Ive had such a life-changing weekend it’s been amazing. To the Lockhart community- you’ve been so thankful for us helping but I’m truly thankful for you for opening my eyes to everything and helping me find myself in ways I could never have imagined I cant wait to go back and help cleanup more and rebuild…..with lots and lots and lots of suncreen(:

I know this experience (and more like it) work to form Emily into the amazing young woman she is becoming.  Yes, somedays she’s still a pretty typical 14 year old, heading into high school, full of drama and everything else these wonderful teenage years bring with them.  But I know her heart is being changed with each person she meets, each day she works to help someone else, each friend she makes while serving.

And I change, too.  I’m reminded that beneath the drama of teenage angst is a young woman trying to figure out her place in this world.  Figuring out what her purpose is.  Figuring out how she can be the hands and feet of Christ.  My job is to pray for her, guide her, and give her opportunities to continue on this path.

Emily and Tim, our amazing youth pastor

Love you, Emily ❤

~mwe

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Roll Students Roll

If you’ll allow me a proud mama moment today …

This morning at 6 a.m. I dropped off my daughter, Emily.  She is a part of about 80 students and chaperones traveling to Alabama to aid in clean-up and relief effort from last month’s tornados.

This trip took shape just a couple of weeks ago and the church and community support has been overwhelming.  The local news media picked it up and have been following their preparations all week. Here is an article from today’s Columbus Dispatch and video from the first news story that aired.

It was quite a sight this morning to see all these kids showing up and being recognized for their willingness to serve others.  Yes, they’ll enjoy each other and have fun, in that shared misery of a road trip, but I’m pretty sure they’ll experience more.  They will see people who have lost everything.  They will see destruction they’ve likely never imagined.  They will likely do work they’ve never done before.  I imagine their hearts might break for the people they meet.  I pray their hearts will grow for these people and the friends they work with.  I pray their hearts will be filled with gratitude for what they have back at home and they will begin to realize what is really important in their lives.

The TV trucks lined up at the church

Emily watches as her friend is interviewed

Our amazing youth pastor, Tim Levert, being interviewed

Emily - all ready to go!

What a gift they’ve been given to serve at such a young age.  Please join me in praying for them to be the hands and feet of Christ as they travel to Alabama.

~mwe

p.s.  You can follow their progress and see more pictures here.

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100 Words for My Mom

My Mom

Dear Mom,

This weekend is Mother’s Day and I just wanted to take a minute to tell you thank you.  For everything.

The older I get, the more I realize you’re not perfect, but I’ve also learned no one is, especially when it comes to raising children.  We do our best.  And above all, we love.  We love like our heart will explode.  We love like our heart will break.  We love until we can’t love any more.  Then we love some more.

You taught me to be a mom.  You taught me to love.

I love you,

Mindy

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The Day the Sippy Cups Went Away

For about the last 14 years, our house has had a kitchen cabinet shelf (or more) devoted to sippy cups.  Last week, I finally got rid of them (well, most of them.)  Since our girls are 14 and 12, I guess it’s about time.  Why have they stayed around so long?  Well, first, our kids used them for a long time – not this long – but way past the time time they needed them.  Because let’s face it, sippy cups are wonderful inventions.  Want a drink while you’re watching tv?  Sure, just put it in a sippy cup!  No spills!  Need a cup of water to keep by your bed?  Sure, put it in a sippy cup!  How did parents ever live without these models of vacuumy suction?

It’s been years since anyone has used one, but there they sat filling up a perfectly good kitchen cabinet.  It’s like they became a permanent part of our decor.  The funny thing is I never even realized they were taking up room.  It’s not like I saw them every day and thought, “I should really get rid of those.  We never use them.”  (Truth be told, there are plenty of things in my house I walk by every day and think that but never get around to doing it.)  The sippy cups were a fixture in our kitchen.

Then came that day last week when I opened up that cabinet and thought, “Why do we still have all of these??”  I started wondering when we stopped using them and I couldn’t really remember.  And before you knew it, I was all sentimental about our girls growing up.  Anyone who has kids knows it goes by so fast.  You try to mark all those important milestones – first smile, first step, first tooth, first day of school, first dance – but it’s those “lasts” that slip away without any fanfare.  The last time you give your child a bath, the last time you read them a bedtime story, the last time you walk them to the bus stop, the last time they play with their favorite doll, the last time they use a sippy cup.  And before you know it, you’re living with two young ladies and a cabinet full of unused sippy cups.

I guess the lesson here – as it often is – is to savor every day.  You never know when it will be filled with a last.

~mwe

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